


Lighter

by Spooky66



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Sexual Trauma, mentions of medical rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13619331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky66/pseuds/Spooky66
Summary: The first time Mulder and Scully have sex Scully has to face some unsolved trauma from her abduction.





	Lighter

**Author's Note:**

> This has to do with sexual trauma and my own experience with painful sex. I just think that whatever kind of medical rape Scully went through had to have left a lasting scar on her. So here it is, my heart.

Fear was a feeling Scully had become well acquainted with but usually, the fear had to do with the imminent death of her or a loved one and not something as trivial as sex. But here she was pinned beneath Fox Mulder’s well-sculpted body, aroused, ready, and terrified.

You see she’d not had sex since her abduction. She tried to, once, with Ed Jerse but when he was positioned at her entrance she’d been too scared to go through with it and had given him a blowjob instead. That was not even the first time she’d experienced such a fear. The first time was when she’d gotten home from the hospital after her abduction and she was alone for the first time in weeks.

All of the tension of the weeks in bed and physical therapy cumulated between her legs and she instinctively ran her fingers along her slit in preparation for some relief.

It started out normal but when she thought to plunge her fingers inside herself a sudden, irrational fear came over her. It made no sense but she knew that she couldn’t dip her fingers inside herself. The fear was overwhelming and instead of orgasm her self-relief session ended in tears.

In the years spanning her release from the hospital, Ed Jerse, and her current predicament she’d tried many times but had been unable to force her fingers in. She couldn’t even force a tampon inside herself during her period. It made her feel like some frightened virgin.

Once she’d gotten close, in the bathtub. Her fingers made it past the first layer of tight muscles but the pain and irrational fear had been too much and she’d ended up pulling her fingers out in a panic.

When it became clear to her that she and Mulder were headed in direction that was more than partners or friends she had tried to breach the painful barrier yet again but found herself to afraid.  
So now, sweaty and turned on, she looked up at Mulder between kisses and began to cry.

He, of course, became flustered.

“Hey, Scully, hey.” He said pulling her naked body close to his so her ear was right over his heart, “We don’t have to do this, it’s alright.”

His beautiful hands rubbed her back and she began to cry even harder.

“If you’re not comfortable with this I understand,” He started. Her eyes moved down to his prominent erection, which indicated otherwise.

He took her chin in his hand and made her look at him.

“I never want to make you feel forced into anything.”

Scully forced herself to breathe and finally responded.

“It’s not that… I- I want to… I want you. So much. I just haven’t- god- since my abduction, I haven’t been able to- nothing has been able to pass-UGH!”

Scully buried her face in her hands in embarrassment and promised rejection.

“Oh god.” Mulder said softly as always understanding without words. He pulled her closer and she felt him begin to shake with her.

“I’m so sorry Scully.” He said against her hair and kissed the crown of her head sweetly.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s stupid and irrational. I’ve researched it extensively. I understand that it’s psychological but I just- I can’t.” Her tears came fresh and he kissed them away.

“It’s not irrational. You’ve been through a trauma.” He began to cry again and pulled her, if possible, even closer.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered to her.

“For what?” She asked against his neck.

“Not protecting you.”

Scully moved away and saw it in his eyes, the guilt that she’d always thought existed but had never really understood. Mulder blamed himself for her abduction, the death of her sister, her cancer, Emily, and every bad thing that has happened to her. Scully’s thumbs brushed away his tears and she kissed him. As the kisses grew deeper she moved him onto his back and straddled him.

Mulder pulled away, nervous.

“Scully, don’t. There are other ways to-“ He started.

“Shush.” She said and kissed him.

Scully took his hands and moved them to her breasts where they began to move on their own accord.

Eyes closed, lips occupied, her hand reached blindly for the lube she knew was inside her nightstand. When she found it she lubricated Mulder’s erection thoroughly and coated her valve as well.  
As she positioned herself Mulder began to protest but she placed her fingers over his lips to stop him.

She knew that if he were the one to thrust in he’d carry the guilt of her inevitable pain with him forever so she slowly lowered herself onto him.

The pain was unlike anything she’d felt. It felt like his member was tearing through flesh and new tears fell down her face with the pain but she pushed on until his cock was past the tight muscles that guarded her entrance. Once he was bottomed out she sat for a moment to catch her breath.

Mulder, underneath her, looked nearly dead from pleasure and it helped her to forget the still lingering pain.

She knew that she couldn’t continue on her own though so she began to roll over and pulled him with her.

Braced over her, Mulder looked nervous as hell.

“Scully…” He started but she cut him off with a kiss.

“Please, do this for me, Mulder.” She said in hopes of absolving him of his guilt.

He looked visibly relieved as he began to move. The movement was slow but each thrust was like a knife.

Scully tried not to show it but couldn’t help it.

“Tell me to stop.” Mulder said in the middle of a thrust.

“Keep going.” Scully said and, taking hold of his ass, pushed him into her.

After the first few movements, it became easier but was still not pleasant. Scully moved her hand between their bodies and found her clit, hoping to make the experience nice.

As her fingers moved in a familiar pattern against her clit Mulder’s own movements became less painful and more pleasurable.

A few minutes in he touched a place deep inside her that made her arch her back and buck into him.

The going was still slow and as he moved into her Mulder whispered how much he loved her over and over and eventually, Scully forgot the pain and let go.

Once Mulder saw that Scully was enjoying it he picked up the pace and soon she was saying things like ‘harder’ and ‘deeper'.

“Scully-“ Mulder stated soon after.

“Do it. Cum for me.” Scully said as she pinched her clit between her fingers and ran her other hand over his ass.

Watching his face as he came brought on an unexpected orgasm and Scully let out a surprised shout at the pleasure.

Secretly she’d been planning on finishing herself off after he fell asleep but this was so much better.

When she finally regained all her senses Scully listened to Mulder’s sweet words of love and comfort and enjoyed the kisses he was laying across her face and chest.

Scully went to the bathroom, Mulder cleaned himself up, and soon they were cuddled together under a sheet.

“I wish I could take away your pain.” Mulder whispered against her temple.

“Just help me carry mine, and I’ll help carry yours.” Scully said as she laid an opened mouth kiss to his jaw, “When I’m with you the pain feels a bit lighter anyways.”


End file.
